Breathe~

I struggle, trying so hard to break loose of James' strong grip on my arms as he holds them down across my chest.
I can see his intense blue eyes, they hold me better than his strength can. 
They're almost touching mine as they tell me things he wouldn't ever dare say out loud, no matter how badly I need him to.
But he tells me to "hold on", he tells me to "breathe". So I try, I try until I can't and shut my eyes so he won't see the tears.
But when I hear him say the one thing I never thought existed in his thoughts, I open them. They hold a million tears and secrets I can't see. But then when he says it again, then, I can see it.
I can see all the pain.
How this is hurting him almost as much as it's hurting me.
And I can see that he knows that I can see it. But I wonder... do you think he can see how badly I want to scream, but that the pain is so agonizing I can't find the strength?
I wonder.
I think he can. He always can, no matter the thought.